Life has its challenges, and so does starting, running, and owning a business.
Being responsible for raising the next generation while dealing with our own fear and doubt in personal and professional capacities is on a different level altogether.
Being successful in life, in business, and as parents or guardians of young ones who look to us for guidance DEMANDS the best of us.
If you haven't read the previous article on fear and doubt yet, I highly recommend that you do in order to fully appreciate the context of what you're about to learn, because it's never just you that is impacted by your emotions...
Today’s Q&A blends together the wisdom of Dr. Shefali Tsabary and Dr. Gabor Maté for their collective expertise on conscious parenting, emotional health and regulation, and trauma as well as its impact on behavior and parenting.
Ready to heal some wounds?
I’m struggling with stress, anxiety, uncertainty, fear and doubt. My biggest worry is that I’m modeling these habits for my children, and they’ll grow up carrying the same burdens. What are some healthy ways to manage these emotions and break the cycle?
This is probably one of the most important questions any parent, or anyone in a leadership or guardianship capacity could ask, and get answers to.
You’re not alone in feeling this way.
As parents we’re often so consumed by our own inner turmoil that we unknowingly project it onto our children.
But here’s the truth: your awareness of this pattern is already the first step toward transformation.
Now, that may sound reassuring, but HOW does one begin this journey to be and feel better when those emotions feel so overwhelming at times?
For practical guidance on how parents can heal their own stress and anxiety to avoid passing it on to their children, we look to the expertise of Dr. Shefali Tsbary, author of ‘The Conscious Parent’ and ‘The Awakened Family’...
The key lies in embracing what Dr. Shefali calls conscious parenting.
This approach starts with understanding that your emotions are NOT your enemy, but signals pointing to unhealed wounds.
To break the cycle of fear and doubt, you need to do the inner work of healing yourself first.
Let’s unpack this step by step.
Whenever you feel overwhelmed, pause and ask yourself: "What triggered this reaction?"
Often, these emotions are rooted in unmet needs or fears from your own childhood.
Cultivate a daily habit of mindfulness.
This can be as simple as taking five deep breaths or journaling your thoughts.
The goal is to recognize your patterns without judgment.
When you’re conscious of your triggers, you can choose to respond calmly rather than react impulsively.
This teaches your children that emotions CAN be managed with grace.
Now, these are powerful suggestions, but what about the guilt you may feel? Especially when you’re worrying it’s too late to change…
Dr. Shefali’s work points out that guilt is common, but it’s unproductive if it keeps you stuck.
Instead, she recommends using guilt as a motivator to grow.
Remember, your children learn from how you handle your struggles. By showing them that you’re willing to face and transform your emotions, you’re modeling resilience.
The best way to involve your children in this process, without burdening them with your inner work, is to create an environment of emotional openness…
Encourage them to express their feelings and validate their experiences without judgment.
For instance, instead of saying, "Don’t be scared," try, "It’s okay to feel scared. Let’s talk about it."
It’s natural to feel fear and doubt because there is a place for it…
It doesn’t mean that there is something ‘wrong’ with you when you do - it simply means you’re human.
We all have to learn how to manage these emotions as we are all responsible for our own emotional health, and even more so, the emotional health of our kids and others looking up to us for leadership.
To break cycles of anxiety, uncertainty, fear and doubt, from another perspective, consider the insights that Dr. Gabor Maté - author of ‘The Myth of Normal’ and ‘Hold On to Your Kids’ - offer on how stress and unresolved emotions influence both adults and children...
First, acknowledge where these struggles stem from. Is it unresolved trauma or chronic stress?
The good news is that by addressing your own emotional wounds, you can disrupt the cycle and provide a healthier emotional foundation for your children or anyone else you are the role model to.
Now, to start identifying and addressing your own wounds, Dr. Maté recommends that you ask yourself: ‘What is the story behind my emotions?”
And Dr. Maté agrees with Dr. Shefali that stress and fear are often manifestations of unmet needs or past experiences that have left an imprint...
For example, if you’re afraid of failure, it might stem from a childhood where success was the only way to feel valued.
If this resonates with you in any way, you may want to know HOW to heal those wounds…
Also, realize that this kind of healing requires compassion toward yourself and your experiences.
Here’s what Dr. Maté suggests:
Don’t suppress your emotions.
Allow yourself to feel them fully, as this is the first step to release.
Reflect on questions like, "What does my fear and doubt want me to know?"
Journaling or seeking therapy can help you uncover deeper layers.
Stress and anxiety often manifest physically.
Practices like yoga, deep breathing, or somatic therapy can help you release tension and become more grounded.
If this framework seems sensible to you, your next consideration may be to make sure that your kids don’t internalize your struggles as they watch you work through them.
Children are highly attuned to their parents’ emotional states. And the best gift you can give them is your presence.
When you’re emotionally regulated, you provide them with a sense of safety. Here’s how:
Share your process with them in an age-appropriate way.
For example, say, "I’m feeling stressed, so I’m taking a few deep breaths to calm down."
Let them know it’s safe to talk about their feelings.
Validate their emotions without judgment or dismissal.
And if, like a normal human being, you slip up and react poorly in a moment of stress?
Remember that it’s okay…
Perfection isn’t the goal—authenticity is.
When you slip, use it as an opportunity to repair.
Apologize and explain your emotions to your child.
This teaches them that it’s okay to make mistakes and take responsibility.
As a parent, you are the first teacher your child has in all the ways that help them become who they are.
By taking responsibility for any wounds you may have carried from your own childhood into adulthood, you’re actively rewriting your own blueprint to generate better, happier, and more productive cycles in your life…
And thus setting that example for your children in life.
So be grateful even for the uncertainty, stress, anxiety, fear and doubt you get to face for the potential value they can add to your life in the process of repair.
Because in the absence of challenges, there would be no journey to self-mastery and therefore, no experience of life.
Remember that your personal life impacts your professional life, and vice versa.
If fear and doubt, or any other adverse emotion rooted in fear impacts any part of your life, it is worth the time it takes to work on improvements to restore balance and achieve success.
The principles in these frameworks don’t have to apply strictly to parenthood and guardianship - they can be adapted appropriately and incorporated into leadership strategies to foster a stronger and more conscious company culture.
With two expert perspectives and varying approaches to managing uncertainty, fear and doubt, you can find a way that works best for you and those in your care (personally and professionally):
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Has your Mind ever wondered…
Breaking the cycle of fear and doubt is one of the most powerful steps you can take on your journey to freedom—both in life and in business.
Fear and doubt, while natural, are often the greatest obstacles holding you back from realizing your potential.
These mental barriers limit your ability to take bold action, make decisions, and fully trust in your abilities.
When you break free from these, you open the door to a kind of freedom that can radically transform your life and finances.
Essentially breaking the cycle of fear and doubt gives you mental, emotional, and spiritual freedom, which lays the foundation for financial freedom.
Once you free yourself from these internal barriers, you open yourself to taking bold actions, trusting your instincts, and ultimately building a life of abundance and impact.
This mindset shift leads to financial freedom because you begin to attract opportunities, take risks, and act with confidence.
Financial freedom is the natural result of a mindset that is no longer bound by fear but is driven by courage, vision, and resilience.
Anything that is perceived or believed to be a threat of loss or harm, - to one’s psychological, physical, emotional, or spiritual wellbeing - whether it is imagined or real, is a fear trigger.
While some things trigger fear in us more than others, humans learn to fear almost anything.
Uncertainty occurs as a result of having little to no knowledge about an event, situation, or a person.
In the distressed anticipation of having to deal with said event, situation or person, uncertainty is compounded by not having control of certain aspects, being unable to predict the eventual outcome, or having no plan of engagement.
Being creatures of habit, most people prefer having a predictable control, a routine, or a plan in place.
The causes for self-doubt and overthinking are rooted in perfectionism, a fear of either success or failure, or in distrust of one’s abilities to make decisions
What fuels the fires of doubt include societal pressure, chronic comparison, and societal pressure to name a few.
Heal your wounds.
You didn’t have a choice in what you were taught while growing up.
But you do have a choice in what you choose to learn today.
Take the necessary steps to become the best version of yourself for the sake of everything and everyone you love - and for what you leave behind.
Precious few things are truly worth your time, and you only have the present moment so focus on nurturing the best of yourself.
You can start by learning how to stop being afraid to say no to what is meant for you, and what serves your highest good, and follow the frameworks in this Q&A to feed the habit of success for generations to come.
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