Learn From T. Harv Eker's Tough Love Millionaire Mentoring Q&A
Experience T. Harv Eker’s unique style of hard-hitting coaching answers to readers’ questions.

Q&A: How To Conquer Your Enemy & Get Rich With Confidence

If you’d like to be confident and get rich, you’ll enjoy today’s Q&A where Harv explains how he conquered his worst mental enemy and went from having no confidence to enjoying more positive experiences by counting his small successes, which led to huge success and wealth.

You’ll also be given a simple exercise that can help you build confidence and a success mindset virtually effortlessly.

Ready to change those roots?

Question from Reader:

“What was the most persistent mental enemy that you had before you consistently created a steady flow of wealth?

How long did the resistance persist before it gave up or caved to your persistence?”

Harv's Answer:

Thank you for a very interesting question that so many people can relate to!

What you’re essentially asking is what my biggest mental enemy was before I created wealth and how long was it resistant before it ‘caved’ or gave up on my persistence...

Alright, so I’ll answer this in a couple of parts.

First of all, what was the most persistent mental enemy I had before I created wealth?

I’ll give you two of them, but they’re really the same one.

Here it is.

Everything that I attempted, whether it was a business or a job, this was my predominant thought…

“What if it doesn’t work?”

You asked for an enemy, right?

Can anybody relate to this? 

“What if it doesn’t work?”

Now along with this, was… Is this the right thing for me?

Can you relate to that? 

“Is this the right thing for me?”


Okay, so they’re really the same thing.

They’re both… What if it doesn’t work?”, right?

What if it doesn’t work out somehow?

So that was my predominant thought before I became what most people would call very very very very very successful.

And what does that show?

It shows a lack of a certain type of characteristic necessary if you’d like to get rich.

And that characteristic is what?


Yes or Yes?

So I guess my mental enemy originally was a lack of confidence.

Even though outwardly I showed that I was confident, inside was a lack of confidence because I was constantly going…

“What if…? What if it doesn’t work? What if it’s not right for me?” etc.

And of course, why would I have confidence when I had nothing of worth yet?

You understand?

This is an interesting dichotomy, isn’t it?

“WHY was it a lack of confidence?”

Well everything I touched turned to SH!T, so why would I have confidence to get rich?


And so literally, that was the problem… 

A lack of confidence.

However, I didn’t UNDERSTAND confidence at the time.

One thing about confidence is that confidence comes from TRUST.

And where does trust come from?

Well, it can come from your Higher Self of course, but usually trust comes from experience.

And confidence comes from a positive experience such as validation.

Now bear with me here, okay…

So trust and confidence come from positive experiences, and I’d had a lot of negative experiences which is why I went into everything without a lot of confidence.

But I was just focusing on the OUTCOME to get rich.

What I kept on doing was reminding myself that I hadn’t gotten rich in any business yet.

So what I know now is that I think very differently than what I did before.

And I know today that you have to CREATE confidence.

It’s not all going to come in one big shot.

Confidence comes in little steps.

Write this down and display it where you can see it please…


Little steps, little improvements, a little progress at a time creates confidence.

You don’t create confidence by winning the Superbowl on day one.

That’s not how confidence is created.

You create confidence by winning the next game.

You create confidence by having a good practice.

You create confidence by having a small success in your life.

So what I learned, and this is critical everybody, is that you create confidence by creating small successes in your life.

And the reason we don’t create small successes in our life is because we make them NO BIG DEAL!

So what do we have to do to create small successes in our life so we can get rich?

You’ve got to CREATE a success.

A success is an accomplishment of a specific intention or goal.

And if you have no intention or no goal, it can’t be successful, can it?

Because you didn’t create that, you had no intention for X to happen, so how could you say it was a success, right?

So you have to start with a goal or intention and make that intention really really really really tiny.

And as soon as your mind goes… “Well that doesn’t count!”, then you say…

“Well it counts for this exercise, because Harv’s the one giving us the exercise!

It’s Harv’s exercise, he’s the one giving it to us and he said that this is the rule for his exercise.”.

So, for example, let’s say you’re not in great shape because you don’t work out too much.

Set the intention to walk 100 steps today.

Now your mind’s going… “Frick-it Harv, I walk 100 steps around my house just getting breakfast!”

Well whoopie doo!

Then I guess you might succeed at this one!

Maybe yes, maybe no?

We’ll have to see, won’t we!

100 steps, today.

Or you might set the intention to walk 50 meters, or 50 yards outside today to start off your fitness thing.

And you might think… “Well Harv, that’s like nothing!”

Okay great.

If you do better, then you do better and that’s great but the success only comes at 50 meters or 50 yards.

That’s it.

So you’re going to WRITE DOWN… 

“My intention for this exercise is to walk 50 meters or 50 yards outside today as part of my exercise program.”

And you must write it down because that makes it REAL.

And then, when you’ve walked your 50 meters or 50 yards, you come back and you write ‘SUCCESS’ over that intention.

Now, your mind’s going to go… “But that was nothing!” even though you may have done more.

Then all you’ll say to your conditioned mind is… “Thank you for sharing. That was the exercise.”

And that’s it.

Now you have a small success.

So let’s say you’d like to lose some weight, and you eat 5 chocolate chip cookies every night…

I’d like you to write down… 

“My intention tonight is to have only 4 chocolate chip cookies and instead of having the 5th cookie, I’m going to have this non-calorie thing…”

Whatever your choice of non-calorie is, it could be grapes or frozen yogurt or whatever, just replace 1 cookie with something that’s low-cal or no-cal.

That’s all you’re going to do, on the last one just to fill that gap.

And then you write it down, mark down your success, don’t just talk about it.

Now, if you KEEP ON doing these little things… 

“My intention is to take a shower today…” which is a great idea if you haven’t taken a shower in a few days, just DO IT.

And write it down and mark your success.

Do you understand?

Keep it to a minimum.

But write the word ‘SUCCESS’ every time.

Now why do you think in your mind that it’s only big successes that count?


Change your world.

Small successes count because that’s the GAME, that’s the goal.

So I used to think that only if I was rich, that meant the business was a success.

What a cr@ppy way to live that was.

Now I know that, but that was stupid.

The reason it was stupid is because it doesn’t all come at once.

And you know what, just as you can get rich quickly, you can get poor quickly too.

I was never counting my PROGRESS, and when I started counting little successes, my CONFIDENCE GREW.

In almost all of my courses, I give you an exercise, and here’s the exercise

I’d like for you to have a success journal and write down 5 successes you’ve had today.

But I’m going to ask you to write down just 1 success you’ve had today to start your journal with.

For a whole month, write down just 1 success you’ve had each day.

And by the way, getting the journal is your first task… have a success page or a success journal.

So by the end of 30 days, you will have 30 ‘success entries’ in your journal.

Now here’s what happens.

Every time you do this, you’re going to see the word ‘SUCCESS’.

And when you go back, you’ll see ‘SUCCESS’.

And the next day, ‘SUCCESS’.

And when you update it again you’ll see ‘SUCCESS’.

And every day more ‘SUCCESS’.

And pretty soon you’re ingraining it and teaching your brain to recognize that you are a ‘SUCCESS’.

Your brain might go… “Well those weren’t big things…” and you’ll say… “Thanks for sharing. They were big enough because that was the exercise.”

The exercise is NOT to do big things.

The exercise is to be successful at little things.

If you can succeed in the little things, you can succeed at the big things!

You see, you already annoy yourself with the big things, so I don’t have to do that for you.

You already bother yourself enough with that, understand?

Set a daily intention, one goal or intention a day on what you’re going to do, to take a small step towards success.

And it could be in any arena, it doesn’t have to be in the same arena.

Today it could be walking in the yard.

Tomorrow it could be getting up 5 minutes earlier than normal.

Or it could be connecting with nature and setting the goal to spend 1 minute looking at, appreciating and hugging a tree.

That’s it.

And then you come back and write ‘SUCCESS’.


That’s all you have to do.

And we’d love to get some feedback from you as to how it’s going with this.

Write down your intentions, share your success and tell us how it makes you feel.

Because I can tell you how you will feel.

Unless you allow your conditioned to mind to take over again, you’re going to start feeling more confident.

You have to, because what do you see?


When you keep looking at your journal, and all you see are successes, now how can you say… “I’m not successful…” when all you see is success?

You’re training your brain that you are successful which means you’re increasing your confidence.

And that, my friends, is what the biggest thing for me was… 

Starting to count my small successes.

Starting to create small tiny goals and intentions that were so easy to create and succeed at.

But before, I wasn’t doing that. 

It was either… “I’m a millionaire or I’m not successful!”!

Well what about ‘the way to the millionaire’?!

What about the 1, 2, 3, 5, 10 years it takes to become a millionaire?!

Wow, if you’re only happy and successful when you become a millionaire, you’ll have trained yourself to be unsuccessful all during that time!

Instead of counting your small successful steps and building the habit of success!

And even if you do become a millionaire, you’ll have trained yourself to be an unsuccessful millionaire and still feel unsuccessful!

Do you get this?

Next Steps

If you would like to discover the same tactics millionaires use to overcome their mindset challenges, with proven strategies to be happier and to become unstoppable in life and in business, then check out T. Harv Eker’s complimentary web class “Don’t Believe a Thought You Think” in our free virtual event.

This free virtual event includes:

  • 8-lesson mini email course with a plan of action on how to become unstoppable no matter what
  • Don’t Believe a Thought You Think free web class by T. Harv Eker


Frequently Asked Questions About How to Get Rich

Has your Mind ever wondered…

Is it hard to get rich?

The problem is not to get rich, but to stay rich.

If you have habits that don’t support wealth and success, nothing you achieve will last.

It’s fairly easy to get rich and to stay that way, if you manage your money well.

This means that WHO you are plays a bigger role in the wealth you have, than the digits in your bank account because HOW you do anything is how you do everything.

Do I have to be smart to get rich?

That depends on your definition of smart.

Is it smart to have habits that support you on your journey to get rich, build confidence and achieve success?

Then yes, you must be smart to get rich.

And to be clear, your IQ and academic achievements have far less to do with if and how you get rich, than your attitude and consciousness do.

How can I became a millionaire?

Because you are the things you do, to get rich you have to be the ‘right person’.

This starts with the thoughts you have as thoughts create feelings, which lead to actions that produce results.

To get rich and to have everything you desire in life as a result of who you are, learn how to develop a millionaire mindset which empowers you to reach your full potential.