Learn From The Smartest Millionaire Minds in Business

How To Negotiate For Getting What You Want

Have you been wondering if getting what you want, whether in life or in business, is even possible?

What if I told you that by creating affinity, using statements of affirmation, and respecting yourself, not only is getting what you want possible, but it could be much easier than you think? 

Multi-millionaire Trainer and Author of Secrets of the Millionaire Mind, T. Harv Eker, had to come up with some seriously strategic negotiation skills when he was broke.

He learned the secrets to getting what he wants and became a millionaire in 2.5 years, using the very tools, strategies, and principles he teaches his students.

Today, we share how Harv says he made it happen for him and that means that it’s your turn to benefit from some millioinaire teachings because getting what you want is a question of skill, flexibility, and mutual satisfaction.

Getting What You Want in Life with Successful Negotiation

If you get nervous when it’s time to negotiate terms, Harv suggets that you consider these 3 tips if you’re looking at getting what you want, which in every case should ideally be mutually beneficial.

Tip #01. You don’t get what you ‘deserve’, you get what you ‘negotiate’

You might not realize that you negotiate pretty much all day every day by reaching agreements with loved ones, friends, and colleagues…

“Where would you like to eat?”

“What movie would you like to watch?”

“I think I deserve an increase of…”

So you might settle for Italian instead of the Chinese food you actually crave, and it’s not that big of a deal now, is it?

In business, however, you might agree with Harv that the stakes are higher when you negotiate.

Whether you’re selling or buying, you desire the most favorable terms on pricing.

Many people become disheartened thinking that they’re ill-equipped to negotiate effectively or that they’ll end up feeling guilty because if they win, the other person loses.

Firstly, understand that both parties can win.

So Harv recommends that you endeavor to avoid a win/lose or a lose/lose situation at all times.

Secondly, even if you intend the most mutually beneficial outcome, the choice your fellow negotiator makes is beyond your control, but you can help yourself out by doing the following: ask for a better deal

In Harv’s experience, people generally fear hearing “NO” so much that they won’t even try asking.

You’ve got nothing to lose by simply asking!

If you can see you’re not getting what you want in a negotiation then SAY something.

In business you don’t get what you deserve; you get what you negotiate. -T. Harv Eker

Tip #02. Don’t ever be the first to come out with a number

Harv urges you to hold back on being the first to give a number during negotiations.


Because, he says, you’ll give them the flexibility to produce countering statements.

You’re empowering them to come up with reasons why NOT to go with what you’re suggesting and desire instead of affirming statements such as… “That’s not in the budget”.

Put yourself in the position where they are ‘forced’ to admit… “Yes, that does make sense.”

There is one thing you do want to hold back on: never come out with a number first. -T. Harv Eker

Tip #03. Tell only the truth

The best tool for negotiations is telling the truth, says Harv.

Know what it is you want before entering the conversation.

Also, know what the absolute most / least is that makes reasonable sense to your bottom line.

Then clearly communicate such to them.

The whole idea behind negotiating is for both parties to work together towards the mutually beneficial goal of you both getting what you want.

Both of you have to feel good and that the deal’s fair once you’ve agreed.

Not all negotiations will be win-win scenarios but it’s far more favorable to always aim for that - or rather choose not to enter into a deal that will result in resentment for either party.

Ask for what you’re after.

Be fair and truthful, Harv is adamant about this.

Don’t attach to hard feelings if your negotiations didn’t work as you’d intended and you may find that the skill of negotiating is much more fun, and far easier than you thought originally. 

The best negotiating tool is, to tell the truth. -T. Harv Eker

Getting What You Want with Honesty

So let’s elaborate on Harv’s thoughts about being honest while you’re waiting for your counterpart to state their offer first.

It does sound a little counter-intuitive not being the first to put your cards on the table, doesn’t it?

Some people enter negotiations with the belief that they’ll only be successful if they’re dishonest and ruthless.

Many people think it makes more sense to state upfront what it is that they want instead of allowing their opportunity to unfold.

And on the other side of the spectrum, other people have the fear of death to say what it is they really want.

Because, says Harv, when they trusted someone with their honesty, they were taken advantage of and this has caused much cynicism and distrust not only with others but within the self too.

Are you someone who didn’t get what you wanted and was left in a frustrating situation?

In life, in love, and in business, certain rules govern how others respond to us.

3 Rules for Getting What You Want in Life:

By using these 3 rules, according to Harv, you attract what you desire as well as build upon the sort of relationships and connections you really want.

Rule #01. Create Affinity…

Affinity generates 2 essentials for trust which are closeness and likability.

If you’re likable, people are more prone to give you leeway and this creates room for the possibility of getting what you want from them.

You can create affinity by focusing on your common denominators.

Whether directly or indirectly, when you say “I am like you”, you’re also saying “I like you”.

Rule #02. Use Affirming Statements:

Use statements such as “I see your point”, ”I agree with that” or “I understand” during negotiations.

This doesn’t mean you necessarily have to agree with every single statement the person made.

If you don’t agree though, using the word “but” negates everything he or she just said, even if the point you’re making is 100% accurate, true, and valid.

Instead, saying “I see your point of view, and I was thinking…” signals to the other person that they’re being heard and being understood.

This presents your opportunity to have your say without creating a situation where someone may feel devalued.

This makes sense, yes?

You’d be surprised how easy it can be to “but” someone to death, and then there’s no way of getting what you want!

Rule #03. Respect Yourself:

If you show a need for someone’s approval, or if you want something too badly, you relinquish your strength and lose all your negotiating power.

This is why Harv says it’s vital to know exactly what you want and have NO FEAR about expressing it at the most appropriate moment.

The less fear you enter the negotiation with, the less anxiety will be evident, the more confident you’ll become, and the person you’re negotiating with is practically ‘forced’ to regard your interests based on the respect you treat yourself with.

You’ve Got the Power

Not only are you creating more affinity when you provide them the freedom to be the first to express themselves, but you’re also strategically asserting yourself in a position of power.

Be ready to respond to their counters until you’ve both reached an amicable, mutually beneficial solution.  

This is why it’s true that when you don’t respect yourself, you don’t fully respect others either, Harv insists.

Your best approach is to connect your own truth with their truth, as much courageously as thoughtfully.

Being honest with yourself as well as with others gives you a much greater opportunity for getting what you want.

Conclusion: Getting What You Want is About Knowing…

By using these basic tips and rules, there’s no reason to feel guilty about getting what you want in the situations you create.

It’s important to be aware of the underlying pulse that makes people and relationships tick.

This awareness provides good people with much greater exposure to love, success, and wealth.

Make Your Voice Heard

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Frequently Asked Questions About Getting What You Want

Has your Mind ever wondered… 

How do you actually get what you want?

You don’t get what you want… you get what you negotiate.

Don’t be the first to come up with a number and always tell the truth.

Whether you know it or not, you negotiate every day in life, and there’s no reason why negotiating in business should mean you care less about your counterpart.

T. Harv Eker provides 3 great tips and 3 simple rules for getting what you want in negotiations.

To be successful in negotiations, you must create affinity, use affirming statements and respect yourself.

How can I be successful in business?

To be successful in business, negotiation is a skill you simply have to master.

Why are ‘wants’ important in a business?

A ‘want’ is a motivating factor, the terms of trade, and when it comes to negotiations, you should endeavor to create win-win scenarios where both parties enjoy mutual benefit.

By using T. Harv Eker’s 3 Tips for successful negotiations, and entering negotiations with the 3 Rules in this post, you’ll empower yourself to create exactly that.

Love ‘em or hate ‘em, negotiations are the key to getting what you want!

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