Everything worth having and keeping requires tending and nurturing.
Love and money are no exception, and neither are success and happiness.
Bestselling Author of Secrets of the Millionaire Mind, T. Harv Eker, spent quite some time in the trenches to learn the secrets to freedom, happiness, wealth and success which he applied to his own life.
His multi-millionaire lifestyle is living proof that love and money can thrive under the same roof.
If you’d like one less thing to worry about, and to live, laugh and love more, then this conversation is a must for you and your partner too.
Thoughts lead to feelings. Feelings lead to actions. Actions lead to results. - Wealth Principle #5
So you found ‘the one’ who you can see yourself spending the rest of your days with.
There’s no shortage of chemistry or passion, and you actually really like this individual.
You’re willing to commit, but it’s important to know exactly what you’re committing to before you tie the knot and sail off into the sunset.
So get nice and comfy, cosy up to your honey and make some time to have this uninterrupted conversation.
Here are some things to ask each other to see if you’re on the same page, or in completely different books, about your relationships with money.
You’re welcome to skip some of the heavier questions as it’s more important to get the conversation started, than what it is to answer all of them.
01 - As a child, did you get an allowance and what did you do with it?
02 - Did your guardians or parents fight about money often?
03 - What money habits did your parents practice and how did you feel about those habits?
04 - What informs your financial decisions?
05 - If today, you win $1 million, what would you do with the money?
06 - Name one money habit I have that you admire?
07 - What fears do you have about money?
08 - What does having money mean to you?
09 - Which money topic would you like to learn more about?
10 - How much debt are you paying off?
11 - How much savings have you set aside?
12 - What’s your credit score?
13 - How many different bank accounts are in your name?
14 - What do you like to spend extravagantly on?
15 - What is the maximum one of us can spend without having to consult the other?
16 - Who will manage the finances and make sure the bills are paid on time?
17 - What financial goals would you like to achieve in one year, and in ten years from now?
18 - Do you have retirement goals and at what age would you like to retire?
19 - What would you like to leave behind (for your children, our children or others)?
20 - What must happen to your wealth and assets when you die?
No doubt, talking about money with your partner can feel uncomfortable, however, it’s worth it to determine your common - or different - habits, values and goals.
Getting and staying on the same page as regards finances is vital if you want a lasting healthy relationship.
And if your partner is indeed ‘the one’, and you’re serious about a future together, it truly pays to ask the tough questions so you can work on building a happy financial future together.
Even when not all relationships chart a course to the chapel, you can be certain all channels lead to the bank!
To ease the voyage, make sure you and your honey win the game of love and money by practicing excellent money management together, and how better, than to adopt millionaire money habits?
How you do anything is how you do everything and practice makes permanent!
Your answers may vary slightly or vastly from that of your partner but what is important, is that you are both willing to get onto the same page, set goals and make a committed effort to achieve common and mutually beneficial goals together.
The relationship you have with yourself is the relationship you will have with others and with money.
And if the values and habits you and your significant other hold dear are not in alignment, what does that predict for your future together?
Couples who regularly have open conversations on money are generally happier than those who don’t.
Can you think why?
They’re nurturing the habit of managing what they wish to keep - and this 6 Jars Money Management System is ideal for that.
The examples you followed, and opportunities you had to learn certain skills while growing up deeply impacted the person you are today.
Experiences in your youth programmed your blueprint in a certain way and resulted in the relationship you have with love and money.
If you were shown stability, self-discipline, confidence and excellent personal management, those values are deeply ingrained, however, the same is true for the opposite.
Fortunately as an adult, you can choose which habits and behaviors you wish to keep or replace.
Practice makes permanent and the more you practice discussing love and money in the same tone and with the same enthusiasm with mutual satisfaction and longevity in mind, the stronger your relationship becomes.
If you can plan together, you build trust and with a foundation of trust, your love and money will thrive!
Has your Mind ever wondered...
You are your habits.
How you do anything is how you do everything.
If your blueprint is programmed with fear and anxiety, you will approach love and money with the same attitude of scarcity, lack and distrust.
However, if your programming consists of trust and worth, you will favorably enhance every relationship and opportunity for success, happiness and wealth.
When you are able to manage small responsibilities well, you will do the same with large responsibilities.
Your mentality dictates the decisions you make.
If you’re the kind of person who takes things for granted and mismanages opportunities and relationships, the volume and significance of the opportunities and relationships will not change your attitude towards the value you are willing to identify within anything and anyone.
Stable loving relationships require planning a future together, such as paying bills, renting or buying, having kids etc.
Trust is necessary for a successful happy relationship where you achieve common goals and work in harmony on your love and money matters.
Money is very important in the areas where it matters.
And how you manage money is one of those arenas where it matters, a lot!
Your attitude towards yourself will be your attitude towards love and money.
When you're a hammer, everything looks like a nail... and this is why clear and frequent communication is vital to find a common ground in building a life that is sustainable and enjoyable, together.
Both are very powerful and highly destructive when mismanaged.
Which beast will you feed?
Because ultimately, if you don't control your mind and program it to control your habits around love and money, you've already lost the game of love and money before you've even begun to understand the secret rules around both.
Nothing can do anything unless you fuel it with the power and meaning to effect change.
When you have a poor or weak mentality and a mindset that is not supportive of happiness and success, then yes, the inevitable outcome when you face financial challenges is likely to be that you fold under the stress.
If you wish to know how to develop a millionaire mindset and you understand why happiness is a choice, you can avoid money breaking up your relationships.
Because when you choose a winning mentality, the decisions you make will favor the outcomes you desire.